meditate

I've had a good run with my back for the last couple of months and was genuinely thinking that I had got my medication 'spot on'. But, it's been niggling for a few days now and has blown into a full blown storm today.

Dealing with chronic pain on a daily basis just becomes part of my life, I live with it, I have to live with it or my life would be very miserable.

My friends, and family are always telling me how well I do coping with my pain, how well I look, how well I manage doing this and that, and I know I do, but sometimes it just gets a little to much to cope with.

With also suffering from Fibromyalgia the awful sleeps you have endure with this horrible disease would leave anyone 'fit' feeling exhausted, so it doesn't help that I generally start the day feeling like I've been awake all night. But, I have it all worked out, and have my teas-made make my first cuppa so that I can take some medication (pain killers and antidepressants) to pick me up before I embark on my normal days activities.

I then shower, pull the bed up and take Bess for a walk before I do anything else as I do truly believe that a walk helps to kick my endorphins in. But some days, like today, even that is to difficult to manage.

I have a terrible habit of blaming myself when I have a flare up but really I can't this time as we have been away twice in the last couple of weeks for two nights and I have done little to aggravate my back. However, my friend said maybe it was the 'breaks' that have caused the flare up ?

'Well', I thought, 'bugger that ( do excuse my language)' because if anyone thinks I will miss out on any of our escapades to far away places in the beautiful UK, then they don't know me well enough. NOTHING will stop me from getting away from it all while ever we can afford to do it.

However, the more I think about it, she is probably right. Strange beds, sitting in the car, sitting on different chairs, walking up hills, can all contribute to triggering a flare up.

Still I've had such a good week, what with all the excitement about my blog being in the running for an award, and what with my lovely few days in the Lakes this week, and then calling on Dad and seeing him look the best I have seen him in months...

I guess I really won't moan for too long about my boring old back because as I said at the beginning of this post, 'I just have to live with it'.

Buddha