I bet your thinking why on earth I have put this in my blog well any weight loss can help your back and as you will see when you read on I have tried everything else to lose it.

I suppose my weight “issue” has been with me since my teenage years, I’ve yo-yoed for goodness knows how long but it has always ended up going back on again. I’ve tried every diet imaginable from the Cabbage Soup Diet to the British Heart Foundation Diet, I even went on a Mars Bar Diet (I was in heaven for a week). I’ve also joined every slimming club you could join, and I’ve been to most health farms and “yes” I’ve lost the weight with them all but slowly its crept back on again. I’m not knocking the slimming club’s successes of which I was one a few years back, but I realised I needed to try something completely different.

My main problem is that I cannot do any exercise, apart from moderate walking (slowly)because of my back problem and it has now reached the stage where I can do very little without it aggravating my back. I became quite despondent and even did a home study course on “Weight Consultancy”, thinking that maybe I could set myself up as a Diet Consultant in order to keep my own weight in tune but although I passed with flying colours I knew I was not fit enough to take it any further.

Some of my medications side effect is weight gain but its easy to use that as an excuse and I have been told in the past that weight gain contributes to back problems however I do feel society is prejudiced against overweight people and as weight is solely inflicted I felt I needed to bite the bullet before it got any worse.

Most days I have to sleep for a couple of hours each afternoon to help recharge my batteries (it helps with the pain) and although I’ve read many an article on how you lose weight when you sleep, it certainly didn’t work for me. Over the last year I had put on another stone and every morning I was going on “another” diet but I just ended up being totally obsessed with food.

Then a miracle happened, I met a qualified Hypnotherapist who specialized in Weight Loss. My friends and family were very supportive of me trying yet another diet ( your not allowed to call it that when you see Margaret) although a few I must admit were quite sceptical as to how it would help me, but they were soon amazed at how much weight I was losing.

For the first time in my life, I have stopped thinking about food and also stopped picking in between meals, if I fancy anything between meals then I grab a piece of fruit instead. My husband said one of the first things that he noticed was that I had stopped picking literally “overnight” and also that I had cut how much I ate at a main meal by half. At first I found it quite hard to leave food on the plate when I felt full, having been brought up to clear my plate at every meal. The best part of this weight loss programme (not a diet) is that I feel in total control of my eating habits. I don’t need to weigh food, see what calories, points or fat units they are as I know what not to eat having been on so many diets before. Now, because I don’t think about food like I used to, I don’t eat it until its meal times and I feel so much fuller afterwards. Don’t get me wrong I am a true chocoholic and if you put a large block of chocolate in front of me now, the chances are I would try and finish it but I know I would feel so full after it that I would not need anything else for some time. My friends know what a chocoholic I am and we only recently went to a dinner party when my friend made me a delicious chocolate bread and butter pudding and I had two portions of it but because she had told me about it before we started the meal I made a point of being careful of what I ate before the pudding came.

My weight is now going slowly but surely at 1 – 2lbs a week which is how they want you to lose it and on some weeks I stay the same but it is the first time “ever” I have gone on holiday for a week and not put any weight on!! I have had no weight “gain” since I had my first hypnosis session. I know Margaret is there for me if I need any more sessions but I am sure I won’t need to go back for any as I enjoy the 4 x CD’s she made up for me and quite often put them on when I go upstairs for a rest in the afternoon.

I personally cannot recommend it enough but you really must want to lose weight with all your heart for this to work and not because someone has told you to lose it. I was so focused when I first went to Margaret that it just sunk in after each session. Unfortunately the most frustrating thing for me is that it hasn’t helped at all with my back pain but I definitely feel a lot better in myself, which has to be the best tonic you can have anyway.

Well my week started off with a trip to my local Hospital for a lumber epidural to help with my back pain. The ward was extremely quiet which was really strange as normally it is really really busy, but apparently the stomach bug which is going round at the moment meant quite a few cancellations from patients and from staff so I was soon in the theatre for my injection.

My pain consultant is soooooooooo sympathetic and kind and puts you at your ease straight away and I had it done on two levels under xray, I'm just keeping my fingers crossed it lasts a lot longer than the last one. We had a long chat about my pain in my lumber and thoracic and with all the medication I am taking it was decided my next move would be a referral to a Neurosurgeon at the Hospital to talk about having a Pain Pump or Spinal Stimulator fitted. I am still finding out about these forms of pain relief but I wont know the full details until I have my consultation with the Neurosurgeon. I do know that this is like the final thing they can do to help with the pain but I am so ready for this to help with my thoracic pain which is driving me mad.

I seem to be able to control my lumber pain with the medication and injections and just rest but the thoracic is just constant but I would love to hear from anyone who has a similar problem or anyone who has had a pump fitted to compare notes or to just find out more about that sort of pain relief.

The last lumber epidural put me in bed for two days but this time it only irritated by back for 24 hrs and I had two of my best nights sleep in ages and was very excited about how well it had gone but soon realised I had spoken tooooo sooooon as my last few nights have been the usual bad ones but I am definitely in less pain in the lumber region which is just great.

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I would love to hear from anyone who has any knowledge on myofascial pain, fibromyalgia and failed back surgery as to whether they are all the same thing or seperate chronic illnessess.

Having being diagnosed with each one at separate times under different specialists I just wonder if it is basically the same thing with three different names. My mission this year is to get my pain control under better condition and started searching the Internet for anything new or helpful on pain management but ended up with so many pages to read through that I just didn't know where to start.

I have been keeping a pain diary ready for my next booked epidural in January as my back has been playing me up something awful over Christmas but I know this has something to do with the circumstances so I'm not too worried about it but I do find it very baffling to see so much information to try and read through.

Look forward to hearing from someone with better knowledge than I have on these syndromes (if that is the correct word for them)?

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Posted By BarMc to BarMac's Diary on 1/01/2008 07:24:00 PM

Well I've been back for another of my sessions at the local hospital. The plan in the day surgery centre was for me to have a nerve block in the side of the neck this time rather than an epidural in my spine. As usual the ward was buzzing with people having pain relief in one way or another and after only about an hour it was my turn to go into theatre.

My consultant had a quick prod around first, to check where the pain was and it was then that he decided that maybe we could try something less obtrusive as I have so much pain in the thoracic area as well as the arm. Soooooo off we went with two injections this time into my shoulder and underneath my shoulder blade into the muscle. I never find the pain of these needles too much as it's only a matter of seconds and we are hoping that these will help more than the previous epidurals as that will mean I can have then every few months, so I am keeping my fingers crossed.

I slept for England when I got home and again today and it just feels a little sore but other than that no change yet but I don't expect miracles just yet.

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Posted By BarMc to BarMac's Diary on 11/13/2007 08:33:00 PM

Hi - i've had one of those weeks this week !! My heel pain behaved itself when I was away last week but this week its driving me up the pole.

It's their first thing in the morning, then its settles down and then its back again by lunch time and then I'm hobbling along all afternoon and the stupid thing about it is that after my afternoon rest it still hurts.

The only good thing is that I've had my hospital appointment for my next epidural and its only two weeks on Monday - yippee !!!!

Sorry about this boring blog but I just get a bit fed up with it sometimes and some how it helps to write it down. I can get comfy typing with both my arms resting on cushions but even trying to hold the newspaper this morning was just so painful.

That's it no more talk of pain. I will be back again shortly to write a blog on us going to Spain again.

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Posted By BarMc to BarMac's Diary on 10/27/2007 09:53:00 PM

I'm really gutted I can't give blood. It was one of my New Year Resolutions this year that I would give blood, lose weight, and learn to speak Spanish. So far, I have achieved my weight loss and started learning Spanish at home with a private tutor. Everything was going hunky dory until I needed to cancel some lessons due to some family commitments ( Dad had his knee operation). My teacher was then off for Maternity leave and although she is now back working again I have not booked any more lesson as I just cannot commit myself to "anything" at the moment until my brother-in-law is back home and settled.

After my last spinal operation (some 9 years ago) I had to have a blood transfusion and ever since then I have vowed I would join the list of blood donors. Then after hearing that my brother-in-law also needed a blood transfusion after his operation it promoted me to finally get it sorted. So, off I popped yesterday, eager to give my blood at last when the nurse gave me the bad news that I couldn't give any. "Why?" you say, well its all because I have had a blood transfusion 9 years ago and it is possible that I could be carrying Variant CJD from it.

It wasn't until December 2003 that evidence came to light that a blood donor may have transmitted vCJD to a patient via a blood transfusion. Scientists are not 100% sure that this is the case as it is still possible that both donor and patient separately acquired vCJD by eating contaminated beef. Even so, in the light of this case donors who have received blood in the UK since 1st January 1980 ( the date BSE became present in the UK food chain) to stop giving blood. People who have received blood since 1980 now belong to a large group that together has a potentially slightly higher risk of exposure to vCJD than the general population. At the moment they are saying it will be OK to give blood after 20 years have passed since my transfusion or if a test comes out that can see if you have it.

What this has meant is that many thousands of blood donors will have to stop giving blood for the time being. Over the coming months and years, this will add up to an enormous number of donations that will be desperately missed. (Medical Fact file August 2004 - National Blood Service)

So, you lot out there - if you haven't given blood yet then please do, you never know when you might need it.

I saw my Doctor today - my usual 8 week check up and chat. As I arrived at the surgery I was given a survey to fill in on what I thought about the surgery, the doctors and waiting lists etc. I've never had any problems with waiting myself as I have such a good Doctor that I feel its better to be late than the Doctor to have rushed you and missed something important.

I was the last appointment of the day and my Doctor knows all my history on my back problems and surgeries and just like to keep up to scratch with what I am having done. She could see I was in a mess with my walking and was as disappointed as me that the epidural had only lasted 6 weeks. She always has the time of day for me and genuinely seems interested in helping me with my back pain which to some people is just not worth worrying about.

She could tell I'd lost weight and wanted to weigh me to see how much I'd lost and has booked me in for another lot of blood tests to check everything is going OK with my liver because of all the drugs I take.

I know I'm lucky to have a Doctor who has the time for you as they are such busy people but it isn't half appreciated when they give it to you.

It has been a long, tedious and at times expensive journey for me over some twenty years to research and find help for pain. I have tried every pain relieving drug in the book with some negative and some positive experiences. I am still on a lot of medication but I am embarking on a journey of alternative treatments, with my first treatment being Acupuncture.

I attended my first Acupuncture session at the local pain clini and it was explained to me as a needle piercing technique whereby very fine needles are inserted into the skin to stimulate specific points in the body. It is said to have originated in China more than 2,000 years ago, making it one of the oldest and most commonly used medical procedure in the world. NCCAM Health Information, Get the Facts.

The aim of the acupuncture is to restore the balance of the energy in the body through the application of painless fine needles into strategic points on the body. There is much evidence supporting acupuncture and pain relief although sceptics would believe it is just a strong placebo effect you feel and not actual pain relief.

I have had six, weekly acupuncture sessions covering my neck and thoracic region. The first session only lasted 10 minutes as the consultant felt it may aggravate my pain, it did neither aggravate it nor alleviate it, but after a 20 minute session at my second appointment I definitely felt some mild relief. Christmas then interfered with my next two sessions so I went back for my third treatment after a two week gap.

I found some needles very painful, even to the extent of reducing me to tears but my consultant said she had many patients who suffered chronic pain and always found January, post Christmas, to be the worst month of all. I had a mixed reaction with pain increasing slightly for the first couple of days and then receding again on my fourth day. So far, I can neither give a positive nor a negative result from the treatment.

Apart from the usual pain from my neck, thoracic and low back I had also started to have a lot of pain in my right heel and down the back of my leg which would arrive first thing in the morning then disappear and reappear again at night, and I knew from my reflexology books that your heel is your spine and coccyx. My perpetual tired feeling made it all the more difficult to concentrate and research my problem so I started asking myself all the usual questions. Am I doing too much? Am I giving myself enough time to rest by body and mind? I decided to write down exactly what I did from the moment I woke up until the next time I went to bed, hoping to find patterns or triggers that I had forgotten about that could have driven me towards another bad day. It helped me to realise where to channel my energy, to somewhere more positive and less stressful. A healthy body is less susceptible to stress and the best treatment to help my pain was to channel my energy to stimulate my body’s production of endorphins.

My next form of pain relief was another session with my aroma therapist. I had already decided that I would ask my therapist to do some reflexology on my feet first to see if we could shed some light on my new pain. My therapist seemed quite shocked at the state my body was in since my last treatment with the lightest touch of massage feeling like brute force to me. I think the weather at that time had not helped my problem with the rain coming down like bucket’s of water being thrown from a great height.

I was back at the Pain Clinic again for a six week course of trigger point injections. I was keeping my fingers crossed this will help my pain a lot. “you have two sets of feelings, good feelings and bad feelings and you know the difference between the two because one makes you feel good, and the other makes you feel bad. It’s the depression, it’s the anger, it’s the resentment, it’s the guilt, it’s those feelings that don’t make you feel empowered. Those are bad feelings. The flipside to that is that you have good emotions and good feelings. You know when they come because they make you feel good. Excitement, joy, gratitude, love. Imagine if we could feel that way every day. When you celebrate the good feelings, you’ll draw to you more good feelings, and things that make you feel good”. Lisa Nichols. The Secret Rhonda Byrne.

When I arrived for my first session I was told the Pain Clinic had been flooded and that we were on another ward. I was then asked by my consultant whether my pain had altered since my last treatment and if so how much on a score of 1 – 10. My consultant examined my spine and asked me to lift my arms up in different directions and grip his hand. It was then decided the best route to follow would be another MRI Scan to see what was going on. I was then asked to lie on my front and had ten needles inserted across my shoulders, arm and hand. My nurse this time was of foreign descent, well dressed in her uniform, quiet and extremely sympathetic towards my problem.

The following day I felt awful with a feeling of a golf ball stuck in my throat. I felt as though I’d had an excessive amount of alcohol the day before (I should be so lucky) everything seemed to hurt and it put me on a real downer. I had to think of a way of getting out of my mood and although I have some lovely friends and family, they all play a different role in my life but I do worry about how they must feel about my problem as I feel sure they must get sick to death of hearing about it. I decided to start writing a wish list of things I needed to do. The simple act of writing things down soon filled me with a sense of purpose. Then onto my trusted friend, my laptop, and immediately onto a blog on pain relief or anything I could find which related to my problem. I soon found a website with some like-minded people with similar problems to mine and it was nice to read their stories and not feel so alone with it all.

Things settled down again and before I knew it, it was time for my next appointment. This time they decided to put less needles in my neck for the time being until we get the results of the MRI Scan which was booked for the following day. We were still in the hospital ward, you know that smell, the air persistently infused with antiseptic and a chorus of sirens in the background. I asked to remain seated in the chair rather than lying face down on the bed this time, as I was convinced last weeks pain had something to do with the position I lay in for 30 minutes. In the cubicle next to me was an elderly gentleman terrified of needles and feeling extremely embarrassed about the whole treatment. Just listening to him took my mind completely off my treatment and the 30 minutes soon passed by.

It did not have the same reaction the following day (thank goodness) so my MRI Scan scheduled for that day caused no undue problems. So much so that I decided to take myself off to a good bookshop in search of more self help books. I studied the shelves, once again laden with titles of every kind of emotional, physical and spiritual topic imaginable. I settled on a “Little Book of Reflexology” to learn more about my pathways to peace and tranquillity.

At my fifth of six treatments the consultant had my results from my MRI Scan which showed significant degeneration of the lumber spinal disc but only slight degeneration of the cervical disc with no entrapment of any nerves. This was quite good news in that it meant I could carry on with my treatments at the pain clinic without doing any undue harm. I’m sure this put my Consultant on overdrive as he then decided on 17 needles this time with the usual ten then another seven in my right foot and leg. The pain I got in my foot, although only a brief couple of seconds was enough to make me shout and we soon realised that we must be on the right track. The pain clinic was back in its usual department which meant I had a room to myself and just before my Consultant left me to treat another patient he put the TV on for me to help take my mind of the pain !!! The most amazing side effect to this treatment is how you feel afterwards. After every treatment I have come home and slept for at least two hours.

After my final treatment I have to say that I felt it had done very little to alleviate the pain, maybe around 20% less pain but the relief just doesn’t last long enough to be justified in my case. Everyone is different and lots of people have incredible results with this type of pain relief lasting for three months but unfortunately not for me.

My visit to see a RHeumatologist and was diagnosed with having Fibromyalgia (an incurable, painful condition which includes fatigue, insomnia, stiffness, IBS and pain throughout the body) and I realised that something had to be done when, after manically tidying up the house I felt bereft at the lack of mess to clear up. Time was the key, how I used it and whom I spent it with became very important to me.

My medication was changed and was I was advised about pain management and it was suggested that I join a support group. I cried all the way home from seeing the Rheumatologist, I think it was sheer relief that no more surgery would be necessary and that I would be able to control my pain.

I loved writing things down and have kept many a diary. Some diary entries would sound very depressinAfter undergoing not one but four major spinal operations with all my complications including the life threatening episode, you begin to realise that time is a gift. Many a day I’ve felt despair, rage and profound disappointment that I could not do certain jobs. My life has changed so much over the years that I can hardly believe it.On the whole I knew my limits and found the tiredness the hardest to control with an overwhelming urge to sleep. The simple act of writing my thoughts down filled me with a sense of purpose, to pursue my goals. I would read inspiring stories of ladies working from home and knew it would not be long before I had an idea for myself.

I didn’t know where to settle, what to do, I felt frightened and lonely. Deciding my future, fearful of depression setting in was probably one of the hardest decisions I had had to make. It was strange to discover that I was the same person, had the same enthusiasm and woke up with equal excitement to face the day ahead even though I was in constant pain.

I took on a small writing job for my local newspaper covering community events but most days I just loved the comfort of my own chair, gazing around the garden with its flowers drowsing in the sun and watching the birds come for food and water from our small pond .My friend and I redesigned my bedroom into a sanctuary to make it feel tranquil and safe. I loved it, a female sanctuary full of personal treasures. Walls full of pictures of my family, a large rose velvet armchair which welcomed you into the room which was very light with two big windows in it. It helped me rest in my bed which is made up with white linen and soft blankets. I would soon sink effortlessly into a sound sleep in the peace. I would constantly scrutinize magazines for ideas and inspirations on what to do but it was soon evident to me that another business or job was out of the question.

I didn’t know where to settle, what to do, I felt frightened and lonely. Deciding my future, fearful of depression setting in was probably one of the hardest decisions I had had to make. It was strange to discover that I was the same person, had the same enthusiasm and woke up with equal excitement to face the day ahead even though I was in constant pain.

I decided that I would embark on a mission to find out more about Fibromyalgia, Myofascial Pain and failed back surgery and see what I could come up. I also decided that I would try alternative therapies for pain relief as I knew I could not take any more medication otherwise I would just sleep all day and that just made me feel really depressed.

I was continually suffering from severe and progressive sciatica. The myleogram showed spina bifada occula and demonstrated disc herniation. A CT scan also showed significant disc herniation with evidence of canal stenosis.

Within a couple of weeks I was back in hospital having a discectomy. The operation was extremely painful, something I will never forget. The recovery took time and patience especially as I had no friends or family nearby to help me. However, after about a couple of months I was out of pain and well on the road to recovery.

Six months later I had set up my own business. Everything seemed to be going fine until I started to experience terrible pain in my neck and left arm. The pain was much worse than the pain caused by Fibrositis, it was agonising. It extended down my hand causing numbness in my fingertips. I also found it difficult to grip and the pain would wake me up every night.

A further CT scan and myleogram showed serious spinal cord compression and a prolapsed disc. Surgery this time was urgent and performed within hours of my myleogram. A discectomy and removal of the prolapsed fragment of disc. Pain relief was virtually immediate but I was advised it would be some months, if not years, before I would be able to resume work.

I decided to train and set myself up as a mobile nail extension technician. After only four months I had a rear impact car accident, suffering whiplash injuries to my neck. I was no longer able to do nail extensions because of the pain in my neck. I continued to fight the constant battle with my back and neck pain and was referred to a neurosurgeon (mine had retired by this stage) in Liverpool who advised me on long-term pain relief in the form of painkillers etc.

A couple more years went by but my pain became so unbearable that further surgery was advised after an MRI Scan showed disc height reduction. A discogram confirmed that the disc above the funsion had also degenerated. I had a cervical fusion surgery and a kyphosis correction. The post-operative pain was much worse than the last neck surgery and I also had a small haematoma on the bone graft site. Again, recovery was slow but I started to use alternative therapies to help with the pain relief in the form of aromatherapy and reflexology.

A few years later I needed yet another MRI of my lower back because of the pain I was experiencing. The scan showed degenerative changes. I was treated with physiotherapy and acupuncture but this just seemed to aggravate the pain. Another operation was advised which I thought was so up-to-the-minute and modern that finally all my pain would go away.

After the operation I was home within a week but felt quite ill. A retroperitomeal haematoma
was discovered and drained under radiological control. I'd had enough of hospitals by this stage and came home with my drain in situ and arranged for a nurse to call and see me daily. Further complications meant even more visits to the hospital and I had to have my front wound reopened and the haematoma drained when I took really poorley. I was in Hospital for another week and put on strong antibiotics and couldn't wait to get home again but after only a week back home I was rushed back into hospital when my front wound burst. I had developed a para colic collection and an infection, which required a three week stay in hospital on intravenous antibiotics. Yet again, recovery was slow but steady. This time, however, the operation was not successful. By the end of the year I had decided to retire from work and concentrate on being pain free.

With my concoction of painkillers and an epidural, the pain was getting a little easier and I promised my family that I would not overdo things but the back pain returned with a vengence and started to affect everything again and I was struggling to even hold a newspaper. I decided to ask for another epidural because the last one had given me quite a few months of relief. My consultant decided to send me for a further scan to check all was ok and in his opinion I had a soft tissue strain and some myofascial pain and advised an injection of Marcain and Kanalog, followed by traction in the physio department. Unfortunately some Marcain leaked into the extradural space surrounding the spinal cord. This induced a form of anaphylactic reaction. It affected the spinal cord function and I was admitted overnight for observation. I returned home but I was poorly for quite some time and required hypnosis for my flashbacks after my near death experience. I also had to visit a neurologist for the terrible headaches and migraines I was having since the injection.

This was my lowest point and I honestly felt I would never be able to go through a hospital door again. I was feeling desperate and depressed once again. Fortunately I have been extremely lucky to have the most unbelievable support and love from my husband, children and family throughout all my bad times and, in particular, through the truamatic time after the near lethel injection.

Eighteen months later, to avoid any panic attack or flash back, my doctor referred me to a consultant in another area. The consultant sent me for an MRI update which showed a slight degeneration in the neck and said he would give me an epidural for my pain but he also felt that there was an additional problem, which would require referral to a rheumatologist.

I was the second born of twins, my Mum had a very hard time delivering us and was very poorly after the birth and my twin sister was put into an incubator for a while.

We lived on a pretty tree lined street in a suburb of Manchester called Burnage. Each
Terraced house down the street was red brick with a small front garden, some filled with
flowers or well trimmed privet hedges. My parent’s house stood at the bottom of the road
with a black and white front door and a large oak tree directly in front of it. We had a full view of all the houses on the street from our front room. It was a very special and pretty house which we lived in during the early 1950’s.

Our next house was in Chorlton-cum-Hardy, Manchester which was another black and
white house but this time on a busy main road which had a large tree outside the drive
with a white ring painted round it for people to recognise where we lived. It had a large
front garden like most of the other houses with part drive and part lawn and an enormous
weeping willow. It had bay fronted pained windows and an enclosed porch and was full
of the popular accessories over the late 1950’s and early 1960’s including flock wallpaper
and leather suites and velvet curtains. We lived at this house throughout our childhood
from prep school to boarding school and then onto college and it was during my boarding
school days that I began to keep a diary.

My Dad is a very handsome, dark-haired brown eyed gentle giant whom everyone has
always nicknamed Big Daddy. He has a heart of gold and so soft by nature. A hard worker
but always there if you need him. A very witty, popular man who loves to socialise
especially with his family,even now at he age of 83. My Mum was a brown eyed,
salowed skin beautiful lady whom we lost to heart failure in her early fifties. She had a
beautiful feminine figure, rounded and soft with a beautiful complexion. She was sharp
and witty and extremely popular. She loved to entertain and dine out and was always the
bell of the ball and was greatly missed in the social circle. She kept and impeccable house
which was always “home” to everyone in the family and friends. She loved chocolates
and champagne which suited her bubbly nature.

Mum was a perfect housewife and was always at home although she suffered from a
heart problem at a very early age. In the 1950’s when Mum was a heavy smoker of
some 60 cigarettes a day, it was a fashion accessory used by many, in fact I think it was
only my father who was the exception to the norm simply because he did not like them.
Mum smoked and drank throughout her pregnancy, in that day they knew no different. It
makes you wonder now if that may have contributed to my many health problems. My
Dad ran a Transport company which kept him in work for long and tedious hours. He
started his working life at a very early age when his father ran a small transport company
with two horse and carts. He spent many a night as a child sleeping with his horses in his
yard and then developed the company into a large national transport company.

My health problems seemed to start at a very early age with numerous throat infections but I did not start writing my diary until 1967 when I was aged 14 .................
February 1967 - Age 14
Hi Diary,
Its me again, got a terrible sore throat which I think is getting infected cos its got loads of white spots – YUK !! Feel really lousy and tired but I haven’t slept well the last couple of nights cos I’ve been worried about the exams.

February 1968 - age 15
Hi Diary,
Had a terrible throat infection just after exams had finished but the results were much better this time so very chuffed. Also had a terrible stiff neck which Matron said was because I sat with my window open in the bedroom. Really painful. Didn’t get a Valentine Card from Ian so I think that has fizzled out now. Shame he was nice but still plenty of other fish in the sea as Mum would say. !!!!

November 1968 - aged 16
Hi Diary,
Got a terrible throat infection and had to stay in sick bay then I became very ill and had to have injections and the Doctor said I had glandular fever. Mum came to see me but I was too poorly to get out of sick bay. The Docotor came daily with the injections then Mum came back a week later for me and I was wrapped up in a blanket and Mum brought me home. I’ve never felt so ill ever, ever and it seemed to go on for ever. Didn’t make it back to school before the end of the year so I have missed loads at school but had lots and lots of letters from all my friends. Really missed everyone but its taking a long time to feel any better.

There is a big gap in years now when all sorts went off including a move to live in Spain with Mum and Dad and Mum suffering so much over the course of the next few years leaving her virtually bed bound.

The year of 1974 - aged 21/22
I now work for Dad full time and don’t have anywhere near as many entries about my throat infections after having my tonsils out but still have some entries on my stiff necks and also how Mum had a bad do with a fibrocitis attack. She was so bad the doctor had to come and give her some injections just so she could get her head off the pillow. This was also my 21st Birthday Year and we had a big bash at The Piccadilly Hotel in Manchester. It was a black tie do and although I had a new boyfriend at the time he was no-one special but I insisted he be on the top table with me so he is obviously on all the photographs. Something I regret known!!!!! I also started going out with my fella during this year after trying to get him fixed up with another of my friends and us both realising that we really fancied each other. Terrific.

The year of 1975 - aged 22/23
I’m still working and loving it with my Dad doing everything from accounts to wages and telephonist. My sister got engaged to her long term relationship and she is getting married next June. I’m going to be a bridesmaid so its all systems go getting everything sorted for then. Mum has her ups and downs but is generally and invalid and rests most days .She never moans so you never really know how she feels. I’m so proud of her.
My health seemed to be the best its ever been this year with hardly an entry about throats, necks or anything else for that matter. It must be love ………………….

The year of 1976 - aged 23/24
My sister’s wedding in June went without a hitch with Mum acting like someone 10 times fitter than she actually was and looking magnificent. No-one would ever know what a sick lady she is. My lovely fella and I had our first holiday together in Torremolinos with all the sun and sangria we could get. Life’s just brilliant at the moment, health and happiness in abundance. In the October we got engaged and plan to marry next summer. What an amazing year – just brilliant!!

The year of 1977 - aged 24/25
Our wedding year – well what can I say – everything went just perfect. Although Mum had not been well at all at the beginning of the year by the time of our wedding in July you would never have known. She looked beautiful and radiant in her navy and white. We had an amazing honeymoon in Venice which was everything its lead up to be. We were entertained by some water taxi guys who got me drunk on Gin and Tonic which put me to bed for a day but nothing could spoil it for us. Again there are no entries about my health with my throat being so much better after having my tonsil out. I’m still working and enjoying it with my Dad and my sister announces she is pregnant in November so I’m soon to be an Aunty and I just can’t wait.

The year of 1978 - aged 25/26
This is the year my back started to go wrong after slipping when I cleaned the bath. I was in a right mess and it really worried my Mum that I had done something serious. It obviously cleared up in time and the big excitement was my sister having her first child, a boy, in July. Unfortunatley 10 days later Mum died of a massive heart attack !!!!! How I got through the rest of the year is beyond me. My sister had a 10 day old baby so had to get on with things so I sorted out all the arrangements for the funeral with my husband. Dad couldn’t- he’d gone to pieces. I was still working with Dad and it would break my heart every day when I went in to find him crying in his office. He just lost the will to live and it seemed the will to run the business. It took a lot of effort on all our parts to pull him round and try to keep him going. This was truly the worst year of my life and a difficult year for us all. Dad slowly started to get over our terrible loss but we felt in time and with the support of all his family we would get him there. As far as any illness is concerned well apart from my fall in the bath I had no entry in my diary on anything as I’m sure my body was on overtime just getting through each day at a time.

The year of 1979 Age 26/27
Well after such a horrid year last year 1979 just seemed to pass with ………………..
Dad slowly but surely started to recover and the grieving got easier for him as the year went by. He also met up with a good friend of Mums who had also lost her husband of a heart attack. They soon became special to each other as Mums friend also lost her mother in this year and the bond they formed just seemed to grow. Towards the end of 1979 I was again starting to have a lot of trouble with my back and my mother-in-law who was a state registered physiotherapist came to see me and give me some treatment and some exercises to do. My husband and I then went on an adventure holiday to America in November and whilst at first I thought it was just jet leg I soon realised that my nausea was a bit more than that and took a pregnancy test which cofirmed my feelings. We were exstatic and rang Dad to tell him all the news then I rang my sister to tell her the news only to find out that she was also pregnant and we guessed our delivery dates were about the same. Hope about that!! Quite amazing.!! Well the morning sickness soon set in and the flight home was truly memorable with the back seats used for me to lie on and one of the back toilets reserved for me as I was throwing up so much. On arrival at home I noticed some bledding so we rang the Doctor who said I could be having a miscarriage and the only thing to do was to rest and see what happnend. Fortunatley our son decided he was staying put but had given me the fright of my life. I was still extremely poorly with the sickness and was put on a drug called Debendox. It was during the time that I took it that the scares came out about this drug and the effect on the unborn child so I stopped taking it immediately but had the worry throughout the rest of the pregnancy.

The year of 1980 Age 27/28
Our beautiful son was born on 7th July 1980 after a very traumatic birth. I was induced at 8am and he arrived at 8pm during which time his heart stopped and he went into feutal distress. I was then given an epidural and he was delivered with high forceps and two nurses sitting on my tummy and telling me to push as hard as I could.
He had a very bad facial palsy but was otherwise perfectly ok and I was ripped to shreds but otherwise ok. It doesn’t really matter what pain you are in when that bundle of joy comes along. Ten days later my sister’s little girl was born. We had a wonderful pregnancy together and now we had a wonderful time ahead of us with these two precious babies. Life was just great. Dad was getting much better but had become quite ill which later turned out to be diabetes. I’d finished working with Dad by now although helping out by doing the wages from home but Dad seemed to lose all interest in his work and the company soon folded down. One of Mum's friends and Dad became an "item", as they say and it was lovely to see his happy smiling face again.

The year of 1982 Age 28/29
My back went out again only this time much much worse and my doctor sent me to see an Orthopaedic Surgeon after having no success with an Osteopath. After a straight forward x ray he told me that I had a prolapsed disc and that he would put me on traction for a week to solve the problem. After my fourth day I started to have a lot of pain in my left outer calf and told the nurse about it on numerous occasions. When my husband came to see me that evening he refused to go until the consultant came to see me as he could not believe the amount of pain I was getting in my calf and felt something must be wrong. By ten that evening the consultant still had not been to see me so I sent my husband home and told him not to worry. At around 11pm that evening the consultant came and took me off traction immediately and all hell was let loose. My left calf to this day is dead with no nerve sense in it whatsoever. You could stick a needle in it and I would not feel a thing.
I came out of hospital two days before my birthday and had to wear the tight stockings to avoid blood clots and my back was no better. I then found out about a very good chiropractor in the area who I then went to see and who sorted my back out for me straight away.

The year of 1983 Age 29/30
I was still seeing the chiropractor some six months later on quite a regular basis when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. They told me with my back problem that the chances were that I would not be able to carry her to full term. I only put on a stone and a half and lived at the chiropractors but managed to carry her to the end and had her by caesarean section on 22nd September. What a beautiful little girl she was, so different to the way her brother looked with his facial palsy after his traumatic entry into the world. She was just so perfect in every way not a mark on her. I recovered from the caesarean very well and my back just seemed to settle down without any further help from my chiropractor.

The year of 1986 Age 30/31
The last few years had not been too bad as far as my back problem was concerned with regular visits to the chiropractor to straigten me up. The children were now running around for themselves so there was less heavy lifting of car seats and chairs. But I was starting to get a bit restless and wanted to set myself up in my own business. I’d had an idea about doing Jewellery Parties before Jewellery Parties ever existed and so I went to London with my sister to see all the top suppliers and bought my first lot of costume jewellery. I called myself DeLuxe Fashion Jewellery with all my packaging in black and gold. The business went well and I expanded into standing at craft fairs as well as the party plan and soon had regular clientel that booked me for the next season. It all worked in fine with being a Mum and housewife which was my first choice of job but this just brought in that little bit of extra. I then expanded into bags as well as jewellery and so soon I was carrying quite heavy boxes two and from my car to each party and suddenely my back went wrong again. At the time I just kept going back to see my chiropractor but in hindsite I should have slowed down and got help with the business.

The year of 1987 Age 31/32
Hubby had been commuting back and forth to a new job he had in the Midlands for some six months and he hardly saw the children or me for that matter as he would leave in the dark and come home in the dark and then fall asleep exhausted. So after a lot of thought we decided the best move was to move to the Midlands to set up a new home. Leaving my twin sister and Dad and his partner who we were so close to, was a hard decision but it was also for the kids sake and also for my husband because I knew he could not go on commuting like he was indefinitely.We sold our house very quickly but had no where to live in the Midlands so we moved into live with my sister while we decided what part we wanted to live in and to start looking at houses. It was quite an ordeal having only weekends to look and never having ever been to the East Midlands in my life before. To be honest I only thought there was a North and a South, I forgot about the bit in the middle!!! I started to really suffer with my back which I had aggravated with the move and also started getting panic attacks. My sister came with me to see the doctor one day because I was so bad but he was convinced I was just depressed because of the move and sent me to see a Physiciatrist. He was a true gentleman who listened to me tell him all abut my back problem and basically sent me packing and said there was nothing that he could do for me and to go back to see my doctor. I didn’t bother why should I, I think he thinks its all in the mind. The trouble with my back pain at this point was that I was perfectly straight whereas before I was bent over to one side so I carried on seeing my Osteopath and also saw a Physiotherapist as well. We moved to the East Midlands in the September and a couple of days after moving in I was unpacking a box and became stuck and was in absolute agony. Having no phone connected meant I could not contact anyone but somehow I managed to climb into my car and drove to the nearest phone box and phoned my sister crying in pain. She felt helpless being so far away and told me not to worry she would sort something out for me to see someone back in Cheshire. I’d not registered with anyone locally having been here only a couple of days. By the time my husband came home he had news that my sister had been on the phone and that a friend of a friend who was a Doctor would see me at his house that Sunday. I knew his wife quite well through doing jewellery parties for her. Sunday seemed to take an age to come and eventually we made it to Doctor's house. Without even needing to strip of he knew from what I told him that I was in serious trouble and rang for me to see a Neurosurgeon the following day. After a consultation with the Neurosurgeon he said he needed to perform a myleogram to determine the extent of my problems. My husband had to leave me at the Hospital to come back home to pick the children up from school but I had my family by me for any news. The mylogram was as painful as I had been told but no more painful than the pain I was already in and the surgeon confirmed his diagnosis that I had …………………………………….and it needed operating on as soon as possible. Without the sugery I could end up in a wheel chair but he still told us to go home and think about it as it was a very big operation. We decided to go ahead with the op and it is from that day on that I have kept my diary on and off through another four major surgeries and still in constant pain today.